Fanfic Shames

[Down]

-That One Where The Mashin Go Into Heat And Take A Human Form To Find A Mate Every Hundred Years One At A Time SORRY SELECE I AM SO SORRY er. (It's Selece/Clef/Umi)

Down, I was to a point where I thought you couldn't surprise me anymore and yet here we are.

I VIVIDLY REMEMBER starting that one while on many many painkillers at 16 years old. Only it amused me too much that I'd even come UP with it so I kept adding to it when I felt bad for like a year???

...............................It's a good thing I didn't manage to focus enough to finish any of this and put it on the internet, is all I'll say. YAY FOR THE ATTENTION SPAN OF A GNAT! \o/

[Revolutionaren]

-Clef is a vampire who refuses to eat people

Did he sparkle? Because you may just have a lawsuit there...

[Mokonalord]

*cough* Um, let's phrase this another way. If you were to rewrite any of your fics, what would you change and why?

You know, now that I read this question again, I have another answer. I'd tried to write a High School!AU back in my first fandom adventure, but my current High School!AU is a very different beast from the original.

For one, the current one has a lot more Ascot. Because I realized that while ultimately, I love all the characters (save Debonair and Sierra because their existence was just so pointless), Ascot is the one that truly inspires me, and working with that rather than forcing myself to devote equal time to everybody just makes things flow so much better. (Will add more later. Gotta go to work now.)

[Revolutionaren]

I think it's interesting so many of our early fic involves 'edginess', like it's not quite a phenomena but there's some sort of pattern emerging there?

If I could go back, I wish I wrote more? And I wish I wrote more lengthier stuff as well, I still suffer from short fic-itis. It's like, "man, I've written so much, word count time! What do you mean this is only 800 words long?!"

How Down does it, I have no frigging idea. (And yet, I manage pretty well at NaNo?)

[suzanami]

I think it's interesting so many of our early fic involves 'edginess', like it's not quite a phenomena but there's some sort of pattern emerging there?

god, it's so true though.  I think it's an age thing?  most of us were probably teenagers, yeah?  I think it's not uncommon for teens to try really hard to be deep and show that they're Thinking Deep Shit Too, but it just comes out as being ~so edgy~  I didn't feel I was trying to be "edgy", but in retrospect, that's exactly what I was trying to do.

I'm just glad I got my Mary Sues out of my system before I got into MKR.  Toonami-era DBZ is a better home for them, anyway. *pats DBZ*

[Mokonalord]

Edgy? Yeah, right. Teen me was about as edgy as a styrofoam ball. On edge, perhaps. So afraid of people seeing what I wrote to the point that "What if I were to die now and people were to read this?" was a serious concern, and at the time, most of the people I knew were also fundies. Meaning I was basically trying to write young adult Christian Literature.

Okay, back to what I was saying about my High School!AU. Another change is that it's actually 'edgier' now than it was back then. Before it was just high school students doing totally cliche high school stuff and falling in love, but now it's got incompetent backyard breeders, families that suck the life out of you for your own good, class divides, figuring out your sexuality/gender, etc. I mean, it's still not even that edgy, just dealing with issues a lot thornier than my original Archie comic-esque High School!AU would've.

[Revolutionaren]

Ahh, Mary Sues, I don't remember writing any legit Mary Sues, self-inserts however... *hangs head in shame* 

[suzanami]

Ahh, Mary Sues, I don't remember writing any legit Mary Sues, self-inserts however... *hangs head in shame* 

I will say that I've never written a self-insert.

I will also go ahead and say that I think self-inserts are a little worse on the shame scale than Mary Sues.  but only slightly.  both are wish-fulfillment. *laughs weakly*

[Revolutionaren]

I will also go ahead and say that I think self-inserts are a little worse on the shame scale than Mary Sues.  but only slightly.  both are wish-fulfillment. *laughs weakly*

I knooooow. But it was never, I'M THE FOURTH MAGIC KNIGHT kind of nonsense, also Camisado and I did have a 'completely replace the girls' thing going on years and years ago. (Sorry for outing you, bb, but if I'm going down, you're going down with me)

[VKiera]

I think the Sailor Moon fandom caught a lot more of my awkward teenage fanfiction woes than MKR did. Thankfully none of that was ever posted to the internet and remains buried in dusty notebooks.

In my younger years I was strangely drawn to crossovers and smashing series together in awkward romances and stuff. I swear I wrote a Yu-Gi-Oh/Sailor Moon cross over once, that was a train wreck if ever there was one. Aah to be young and crazy...

Oddly enough I didn't start brandishing around OCs until I started my MKR fic Ice and Snow and I generally get complements on those OCs so I guess I did okay? I guess I didn't get away from the crossover bug though, considering Ice and Snow is MKR channeling a lot of XXXholic and some Tsubasa, via a fairytale from DNAngel.

But there is that one sex scene I did in a differnt MKR fic, I just ugh, I really need to go back and rewrite that, but I'm almost too ashamed to, it's that bad.

[Revolutionaren]

Oh man, what was my awkward Sailor Moon blatant self-insert called?! It wasn't Sailor Earth, I can promise you that.

I can't remember, I'm so sad.

[Mokonalord]

Show of hands, is there anybody here who hasn't written a blatant Sailor Moon self-insert?

Cause I know I have. In fact, it was a Sailor Moon/Gundam Wing fic that somehow managed to find itself in the Pokemon world.

But no matter what, I will never regret the time Ascot found a portal in his hat to the Digimon world. That plot bunny was quality crack.

[Camisado]

I knooooow. But it was never, I'M THE FOURTH MAGIC KNIGHT kind of nonsense, also Camisado and I did have a 'completely replace the girls' thing going on years and years ago. (Sorry for outing you, bb, but if I'm going down, you're going down with me)

I did! You were Umi, I was Fuu and my friend Helen was Hikaru. I'll have to fish them out sometime. It was when I had long hair and you had short hair, too! Dang.

So, I probably need to run through the entire list of my fanfics that were ever posted on FF.net:

Another AU Fic: where the girls attend my school, Ferio/Clef/Lantis are in sixth-form, and weird shit happens like Ferio getting shot (????? it was never followed up), a lemon that only Rev ever read, and my first long-time OCs, Ferio/Emeraude's aunt and uncle. On the plus side, I met Rev and down through this one!

Another AU Fic, the sequel: Nah.

I can't remember the title of this one but while I was walking the dog for a nice elderly lady in my village, whose son-in-law just happened to be Julian Fellowes (of Downton Abbey fame /namedrop), I based a whole fanfic around Fuu walking Ferio's grandmother's dog, and his dad being a Julian Fellowes equivalent, and god knows what else. It was FULL of OCs, Clef was Ferio's cousin, and Fuu's best friend was a girl called Stevie, and Hikaru and Fuu were only very briefly mentioned. Also inserted-Rev was dating Clef. Good times.

Lane's End: in which Ferio is a vet(erinarian) part-timing as an animal control/welfare officer and he rescues Fuu in his little airport shed after she is knocked over by a luggage truck (WHY DIDN'T HE CALL AN AMBULANCE???). She has amnesia. She goes to live with him, his border collie (Shippu), his one-eyed cat (Frankie), his duck (Nigel) and his Shetland pony (Clover). They fall in love. Clef owns the vets that Ferio works at, Presea is his wife but he's having an affair with Rev. Hikaru works for the RSPCA. Umi is part of the modelling agency Emeraude also works for. I appear in cosplay as Subaru from Tokyo Babylon. Nobody questions anything.

The Next Princess of Cephiro: Ferio and Fuu get married. Fuu gets pregnant. Some weird wind mage captures Fuu because he wants her to be his wife. Ferio and Clef rescue her. Nobody goes to Cephiro-jail. ?????

Townsend's Private Detectives: Based on, of all things, 70s Charlie's Angels and Smokey and the Bandit. Police thing??? Ferio is formerly totes gay with Lantis. He gets all angsty all the time. Umi hooks up with Ascot, Presea is Bosley and Clef is Charlie. There are F1 cars and quad bikes involved. Fuu gets pregnant and flees back to Japan from wherever the flip this thing was set. Ferio goes to Japan and wins her back. I don't fucking know.

Witchcraft: The girls are witches, Ferio has a Shaman King-style spirit accompanying him who is literally Vivian from Paper Mario, and his twin brother, oh my god the first appearance of Daijirou, has a cat thing called Doppelganger. They all attend a school that is v religious, so that all goes down really well. Fuu is well in love with Ferio but he's a stoner and comes from an angsty home (siamese twins separated at birth and omg reunited at school!!!), Daijirou's parents are literally Sally and Flynn from Home and Away, a doctor and a teacher. There's a halloween party where Ferio and Daijirou dress as hookers. Probably there was meant to be some sort of end game thing where they fight to save the world, but I never got that far. Also, the twincest, which Rev and I will never speak of again.

Finally, I can't remember the name, but it was one of my most recent pre-Last Train Home fanfics, and Rev and I fondly refer to it as "Teh Jolly Fic" because it was so damn downright depressing. Ferio has leukaemia, he saves Fuu from getting sexually harassed on the train and they start sort-of dating. Daijirou appears in this fanfic but he's away somewhere being absolutely terrified about donating marrow to save his bro. Then Fuu gets raped. WHY. WHY. I think I had teen depression when I wrote it. There are still ten chapters of this shit in my Dropbox and I'm afraid to read it.

Sorry for the huge post, but I have a lot of shame. xD

Edit: I also caught myself thinking up a super forced plot for a Monthly Girls' Nozaki-kun fanfic recently, that even teenage Camisado, who wrote all this bullshit, would think was a bit contrived. Send help.

[suzanami]

Camisado that is quite the resume I must say.  I'm not sure if I've read any of them... some seem familiar but it's been so long.  I do remember your fanart all over dA though ;)  and omfg Daijiro or w/e his name is, haha.  I forgot about him.  anyway I laughed a lot reading your reply <3

Show of hands, is there anybody here who hasn't written a blatant Sailor Moon self-insert?

Cause I know I have. In fact, it was a Sailor Moon/Gundam Wing fic that somehow managed to find itself in the Pokemon world.

*raises hand*  I was absolutely o b s e s s e d with Sailormoon when I discovered it at 13.  it's the reason we got the internet.  I watched the DiC dub VHSes daily and made my friends watch them at my 14th birthday party (cringes).  it's the reason I started really drawing "seriously" (if I can call it that haha).  I was nucking futs for it.

but I didn't make a self-insert or any ACTUAL fan senshi.  the closest I did was this: I had a binder with each of the "Sailor Scouts" drawn on sheets of notebook paper.  and I started assigning characters to everyone I knew. (I made my friend Molly be Molly/Naru-chan, of course).  like, I basically forced them to humor me. (I had absolutely zero self-awareness)  then, when I ran out of Inner Scouts, Tuxedo Mask, Andrew/Motoki and Melvin/Umino (I made a kid I hate be Melvin!) I started designing really really horrid "outer" Scouts.  which I was vaguely aware of, from using the internet at the library one single time.  then I ran out of planets so I started using Sun, Earth, Galaxy, etc, as well as Zodiac signs.  because outer space. 

and then the leader of my church group told me I couldn't bring the binder around anymore because 1) it was distracting - a legit reason, and 2) it "was not godly", meaning they thought it had to do with space and horoscopes S C A R Y  S H I T


anyway I just needed to confess that embarrassing stuff.

I never did anything more with those 'characters', never even drew them more than once.  so I don't really count myself as having done fan senshi or really anything self-inserty or ficcy with BSSM!  no, I saved that for when I got into Dragonball Z........

soooo all that bullshit was out of my system by the time I discovered Rayearth a year after the DBZ stuff started.  of course, I truly discovered shipping at that point. . .

[dinosaurjam]

-That One Where The Mashin Go Into Heat And Take A Human Form To Find A Mate Every Hundred Years One At A Time SORRY SELECE I AM SO SORRY er. (It's Selece/Clef/Umi)

Down, I was to a point where I thought you couldn't surprise me anymore and yet here we are.

I just laughed so hard I almost spit out my water.